G is for GUMSHOE Read online

  Dietz looked at me to check my reaction. The guy was a quick study. I’d have to give him that.

  “I’d like to have some time by myself,” I said. Who knew when I’d ever get to be alone again?

  Dietz was apparently willing to honor the request. Henry offered to cook for us, but I really didn’t feel up to it. I was tired. I was sore. I was irritable. I just wanted to grab a quick supper and go to bed. My culinary repertoire was limited to peanut-butter-and-pickle sandwiches and hot sliced hardboiled egg with lots of mayonnaise and salt. I’d have to quiz Dietz later on his specialties. Surely, he could do something.

  I showered while Dietz was gone, remembering numerous items I wished I’d asked him to pick up. Wine for one. I gave my hair a quick shampooing, feeling antsy and distracted. The sound of running water masked other sounds in the apartment. Someone could be breaking one of my windows out and I wouldn’t hear it. I should have had Henry baby-sit. I cut the shower short, wrapped myself in a towel, and peered over the loft railing. Everything looked just as it had before – no broken window, no bloodied hand reaching through to turn the latch.

  I put on jeans and a fresh shirt, found clean sheets in the linen closet and made up the sofa bed. It was odd to have a houseguest even in the guise of a bodyguard. I wasn’t used to living in the place by myself, let alone with a guy I’d only met that day.

  I unpacked the duffel and tidied up the living room. Dietz had told me not to answer the telephone, but he hadn’t said anything about phoning out. It was only 6:15. I needed the comfort of business as usual.

  I put a call through to Mrs. Gersh. “Irene? This is Kinsey Millhone. I just wanted to touch base and check on your mother. Is she up here yet?”

  “How nice of you. Yes, she is. Mother arrived about three this afternoon,” she said. “We had an ambulance meet her at the airport and take her right to the nursing home. I just got back from seeing her, as a matter of fact, and she seems fine. Tired, of course.”

  “The trip must have been hard on her.”

  Irene’s voice dropped slightly. “They must have sedated her, though nobody said as much. I expected her to be raising Cain, but she was very subdued. At any rate, I can’t tell you how grateful I am you were able to locate her, and so quickly, too. Even Clyde seems relieved.”

  “Good. I’m glad. I hope everything works out.”

  “What about you, dear? I heard about your accident. Are you all right?”

  I squinted at the phone with puzzlement. “You heard about that?”

  “Well, yes. From your associate. He called here this afternoon, wondering when you’d be home.”

  All of my internal processes came to a dead halt. “What associate?”

  “I don’t know, Kinsey. I thought you’d know that.

  He said he was a partner in your agency. I really didn’t catch the name.” A note of doubt had crept into her voice, probably in response to the chilly note in mine.

  “What time was this?”

  “About an hour ago. I told him I hadn’t heard from you, but I was certain you’d be driving back this afternoon. That’s when he mentioned that you’d had an accident. Is something wrong?”

  “Irene… I don’t have a partner. What I have is some guy hired to kill my ass…”

  I could practically hear her blink. “I don’t understand, dear. What does that mean?”

  “Just what it sounds like. A hit man. Someone hoping to murder me for money.”

  There was a pause, as if she were having to translate from a foreign tongue. “You’re joking.”

  “I wish I were.”

  “Well, he seemed to know all about you and he sounded very nice. I never would have said a word if he hadn’t seemed so familiar.”

  “I hope you didn’t give him my home address or phone number,” I said.

  “Of course not. If he’d asked me that, I’d have known something was amiss. This is awful. I feel terrible.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. If you hear from the guy again, or from anyone else, please let me know.”

  “I will. I’m so sorry. I had no idea…”

  “I understand. There was no way you could know. Just get in touch with me if you hear from him again.”

  After I hung up, I went into the downstairs bathroom and stood in the tub, looking out the window at the street. It was not quite dark, that hazy twilight hour when light and shadow begin to merge. Lights in the neighborhood were beginning to come on. A car passed slowly along the street and I found myself pulling back. I didn’t actually whimper, but that’s how I felt. It was amazing to me how quickly I was losing my nerve. I consider myself a capable person (ballsy is the word that comes to mind), but I didn’t like the idea of this guy breathing down my neck. I returned to the living room, where I circled restlessly in a space scarcely bigger than a nine-by-twelve rug.

  At 6:45 there was a tap at the door. My heart volunteered an extra beat just to speed the adrenaline along. I peered through the porthole. Dietz was standing on the doorstep, his arms loaded with groceries. I unlocked the door and let him in. I took one bag of groceries while he put the other on the kitchen counter. I’m not sure what expression I had on my face, but he picked up on it. “What’s wrong?”

  My voice sounded abnormal, even to my own ears. “Some guy called the woman I was working for and asked about me. He told her about the accident and asked if I was back in town yet.”

  Dietz’s hand moved toward the pocket where he’d kept his cigarettes. He flashed a look of annoyance, apparently meant for himself. “How’d he know about her?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Shit!”

  “What’d the cops have to say?”

  “Not much. At least they know now what’s going on. They’ll have the beat car cruise by at intervals.”

  “Whoopee-do.”

  “Cut the sarcasm,” he said irritably.

  “Sorry. I didn’t know it would come out like that.”

  He turned back to one of the grocery bags, pulling out a garment that looked like the blue vests we’d worn in high school sports to distinguish one team from another. “Lieutenant Dolan suggested you wear this. It’s a bulletproof vest, a man’s, but it should do the job. Some rookie left it behind when he quit the force.”

  I took the thing, holding it up by one Velcro strap. It was heavier than it looked and it had all the sex appeal of an ace bandage. “What about you? Don’t you need one of these?”

  Dietz was taking his jacket off. “I’ve got one in the car. I’m going to clean up. We’ll talk about supper in a bit.”

  I put groceries away while he showered in the downstairs bathroom. Judging from the items he’d bought, he must have snagged two each from every department he passed. I hadn’t been in the apartment long enough to decide where anything should go, so I amused myself with paper goods and staples, cans, condiments, spices, and household cleaners. Fortunately, he’d had the presence of mind to buy a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, two bottles of white wine, and a six-pack of beer. I’m ashamed to say how cheered I was by the sight. Given my current level of anxiety, I wasn’t above a nip of alcohol. I put the beer away and got out the corkscrew.

  The bathroom door opened and Dietz came out, dressed in jeans and a dress shirt, his feet bare, the scent of aftershave wafting toward me in a cloud. He was toweling his hair dry and it stood out around his head like straw. The gray in his eyes was as clean as ice. He spotted the radio on the kitchen counter and turned it on, tuning in a country-western song with lots of major chords and a rocking-horse rhythm that would probably drive me mad. My problem with country music is that I try to avoid the very situations the lyrics lament. However, having objected to his cigarettes, I didn’t feel comfortable protesting his taste in music as well. He probably wasn’t any happier with the proximity than I was.

  I poured wine in a glass. “Want some?”

  “Of course!”

  I handed him the glass of wine and
poured a second for myself. I felt like we should drink a toast to something, but I couldn’t think what. “Are you hungry? I notice you picked up some bacon and eggs. We could have that if you like.”

  “Fine. I wasn’t sure what else to get. I hope you’re not a vegetarian. I should have asked.”

  “I eat anything… well, except tripe,” I said. I set the wineglass on the counter so I could get out the eggs. “Scrambled all right? I’m terrible at fried.”

  “I can cook “em.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “It shouldn’t be your responsibility. I’m not here as a guest.”

  I hate bickering about who’s going to be nicer. I got out the skillet and tried a new subject. “We never talked about money. Lee didn’t mention your hourly rate.”

  “Let’s not worry about that. We’ll work something out.”

  “I’d feel better if we came to some agreement.”

  “What for?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. “It’s just more businesslike.”

  “I don’t want to charge you. I’m doing this for fun.”

  I turned and stared at him. “You think this is fun?”

  “You know what I mean. I’ve chucked the business anyway so this one’s on me.”

  “I don’t like that,” I said. “I know you mean well, and believe me, I appreciate the help, but I don’t like to feel indebted.”

  “There’s no debt implied.”

  “I’m going to pay you,” I said, testily.

  “Great. You do that. My rates just went up. Five hundred bucks an hour.”

  I stared at him and he stared back. “That’s bullshit.”

  “That’s my point. It’s bullshit. We’ll work something out. Right now I’m hungry so let’s quit arguing.”

  I turned back to the skillet with a shake of my head. The joy of being single is you always get to have your own way.

  I went up to bed at nine, exhausted. I slept fitfully, aware that Dietz was up and prowling restlessly well into the night.

  Chapter 11

  *

  I woke automatically at 6:00 a.m. and rolled out of bed for my early morning run. Oh, wow, shit, hurt. I was sucking air through my teeth, on my hands and knees, staring at the floor when I remembered Dietz’s advisory. No jogging, no lifting weights. He hadn’t said a word about getting out of bed. I was clearly in no condition to work out anyway. The second day of anything is always the worst. I staggered to my feet and hobbled over to the loft rail, peering down at the living room. He was up. The sofa bed had been remade. I caught the smell of fresh coffee and a glimpse of him sitting at the kitchen counter with the L.A. Times open in front of him, probably wishing he could have his first cigarette of the day. From my perspective, foreshortened, his face seemed to be dominated by his furrowed brow and jutting chin, his body topheavy with bulky shoulders and biceps. He reversed the pages, flipping to the middle of the metro section, which is where all the juicy Los Angeles crime is detailed. I eased out of his line of sight, climbed into bed again, and spent a few minutes staring up through the skylight. A marine layer had blanketed the Plexiglas dome with white. Impossible to tell yet what kind of day it would be. It seldom rains here in May. Chances were the clouds would lift and we’d have sunshine, mild breezes, the usual lush green. Sometimes perfection ain’t that easy to bear. Meanwhile, I couldn’t lie here all day, though I was tempted, I confess.

  If I went downstairs, I’d have to be polite and interact with Dietz, making small talk of some as yet undetermined sort. New relationships are daunting, even when they’re short-term. People have to trade all those tedious details about their previous lives. It made me tired to consider the sheer weight of the exchange. We’d touched on the preliminaries in the car coming home, but we had reams of data to cover yet. Chitchat aside, Dietz might turn on the radio again… more Roy Orbison. I couldn’t face that at 6:05 a.m.

  On the other hand, it was my house and I was hungry, so why shouldn’t I go downstairs and eat? I didn’t have to talk to him. I pushed the covers back and got up, limped into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. My face was still a Technicolor wonder, a rainbow of bruises after a shower of blows. I wiggled my eyebrows and studied myself. The contusion on my forehead was shifting subtly from dark blue to gray, my blackened eyes lightening from lavender to an eerie green. I’ve seen eye shadow in the same shade and it always puzzles me why women want to look like that. “I got belted in the chops last night,” is what it says. My hair was, as usual, mashed from the night’s sleep. I’d showered the night before but I hopped in again, not for the sake of cleanliness, but hoping to improve my mood. Having Dietz under the same roof was making my skin itch.

  Once I pulled on jeans and an old sweatshirt, I dumped my dirty clothes in the hamper, tucked the empty duffel in the closet, and made the bed. I went downstairs. Dietz murmured a good morning without lifting his eyes from the sports page. I helped myself to some coffee, poured a bowl of cereal with milk, grabbed the funnies, and toted it all into the living room, where I sat, bowl in hand, spooning cereal into my mouth absentmindedly while I read the comic page. The funnies never make me laugh, but I read them anyway in hopes. I caught up with Rex Morgan, M.D., the girls in Apartment 3G, and Mary Worth. It’s comforting how slowly life moves in a comic strip. I hadn’t read the paper in maybe four days and the professor was just now looking startled at something Mary’d said to him. What a wag she was. I could tell he was disconcerted by the wavy lines around his head.

  Dimly, I was aware that Dietz had opened the front door and stepped out into the backyard. When I finished my cereal, I washed my bowl and spoon and left them in the dish rack. Hesitantly, I moved to the front door and peered out, feeling like a housebound cat discovering that a door has inadvertently been left ajar. Was I allowed outside?

  The marine layer was already beginning to dissipate, but the yard had that bleached look that a mist imparts. The foghorn was bleating intermittently – a calf separated from its mother – in the still morning air. The strong scent of seawater saturated the yard. Sometimes I half expect the surf to be lapping at the curb out front.

  Dietz was hunkering near the flower beds. Henry had put in some bare root roses the year before and they were in full bloom: Sonia, Park Place, Lady X, names giving no clue about the final effect. “Aphids,” he said. “He should buy some ladybugs.”

  I leaned against the doorframe, too paranoid to venture all the way out into the yard. “Are we going to talk about security again or did we cover it last night?”

  He got to his feet, turning his attention to me. “We should probably discuss your schedule. Any standing appointments? Massage, beauty salon?”

  “Do I look like someone with a standing appointment at a beauty salon?”

  He studied my face with curiosity, but refrained from comment. “The point is, we don’t want your movements predictable.”

  I rubbed my forehead, which was still smarting to the touch. “I gathered as much. Okay, so I cancel my masseuse, bikini wax, and the weekly pedicure. Now what?”

  He smiled. “I appreciate your cooperation. Makes my job easier.”

  “Believe me, I’m not interested in being killed,” I said. “I do need to go in to the office.”

  “What time?”

  “Doesn’t matter. I want to pick up my mail and get some bills paid. Minor stuff really, but I don’t want to put it off.”

  “No problem. I’d like to see the place.”

  “Good,” I said, turning to go back inside.

  “Kinsey? Don’t forget the body armor.”

  “Right. Make sure you wear yours, too.”

  Upstairs, I dutifully stripped off my sweatshirt and slipped on the bulletproof vest, pressing the Velcro straps into place. Dietz had told me this particular vest offered threat-level-one protection, which was good against a .38 Special or less. Apparently, he was assuming a hit man wouldn’t use a 9-millimeter automatic. I tried not to think abo
ut garrotes, head wounds, blasted kneecaps, the penetrating power of ice picks – any one of a number of assaults not covered by the oversize bib I wore.

  “Make sure it’s tight enough,” Dietz had called up from below.

  “Got it,” I said. I had pulled the sweatshirt on over the vest and checked myself in the mirror. I looked like I was eleven years old again.

  At 8:45, we moved through the front gate. Dietz had gone out first to check the car and scan the street. He returned, motioning me forward. He walked slightly in front of me, his stride brisk, his eyes alert as we traversed the fifty paces to his Porsche. The whole maneuver had an urgency about it that made me feel like a rock star. “I thought a bodyguard was supposed to be inconspicuous,” I said.

  “That’s one theory.”

  “Won’t everybody guess?”

  He looked over at me. “Let’s put it this way. I’m not interested in advertising what I do, but if this guy’s watching us, I want him to understand just how hard his job is going to be. Most attacks occur suddenly and at very close range. I’ll try not to be obnoxious, but I’m sticking to you like glue.”

  Well, that answered that.

  Dietz drove with his usual determination. He was a real A-type personality, one of those guys who lives like he’s always late for some appointment, irritated at anybody who slows him down. Bad drivers caught him by surprise, as though they were the exception instead of the rule. I directed him to the downtown area, which, fortunately, was only ten minutes away. If he noticed I was bracing myself between the dashboard and the door frame, he didn’t mention it.

  At the entrance to the parking lot, he slowed the car, surveying the layout. “Is this where you usually park?”

  “Sure, the office is right up there.”

  I watched him calculate. He was clearly hoping for a way to change my routine, but parking farther away was only going to make the walk longer, thus exposing us for an extended period. He pulled in, handed me the ticket, and found a parking space. “Anything looks weird,” he said, “speak up right away. Any sign of trouble, we’ll get the fuck out.”